SHRIMP COLORS: A TREATISE

an enlightened outlook by danny

so you know how humans can only see colors on the visible spectrum (hence why it's called the visible spectrum). how we don't have heat vision or x-ray vision but we have SO many different kinds of blues? and you know how there are many animals that can see more than just the visible spectrum of light? how they can see colors we can't even conceive of? and, of course, you must know that one of those animals is the mighty shrimp.

i genuinely don't know how true that is, that shrimp see hundreds of colors we can't percieve. i've never bothered to fact check this information and i make sure to include that disclaimer whenever i bring it up in conversation. but the idea of it--the concept of shrimp existing in a world so beyond what humans experience, we couldn't even describe it with the language available to us--is one that illustrates a point near and dear to my heart.

relationships are weird.

there's romantic relationships (and everyone is supposed to know what those look like) and platonic relationships (and everyone is supposed to know what those look like) and sexual relationships (and everyone is supposed to know what those look like). according to society writ large, these are the core of any connection we make with any human we meet. they all look and feel a certain way, they all play out a certain way, and they all can be sorted into their own box.

but as we learned from our friend the mighty shrimp a few paragraphs ago, just because there are things a person doesn't have the language or the imagination to quantify, doesn't mean someone isn't out there experiencing it. and these relationships that don't fit into the stiffly packed boxes that society put out for us are all about those shrimp colors.

my partner and i have been using "shrimp colors" as a shorthand for our relationship for years now. i'm an ace person who's half in love with everyone i'm close to and don't see any point in differentiating between arbitrary lines of what's "romantic" and what's "platonic", my partner is aroace with a complicated relationship to romance as a concept that inclines them to dissconnect from it altogether. they are my best friend, my life partner, my roommate, and my ex. they're one of the most important people in my life and when my mom asked if we were getting married any time soon, the answer was a staunch "idk man. who knows." i love them so much

i live with my partner and we're committed to each other. we sleep in the same bed every night and share grocery money. there's an instinct to see the ways people share their lives and shove it into the best-fitting box. i'm sure it's easier for people to assume we're dating because we do the same things that people who date do.

but we're not. not because those people who ARE dating and do what we do are somehow doing it wrong, but because we're the ones who get to decide what our relationship is to each other. we're the experts of our own experiences. and our experiences say that we're together, but not in the way people think. we're committed, but not in the way people think. we're in love, but not in the way people think. we're on an entirely different visual spectrum than what people are trying to see when they look at us together. that's what shrimp colors is.

at first glance, you might try to make a relationship fit into the colors that you're familiar with, but you'll always be missing the depth--the accuracy. the most important part about seeing and knowing and understanding shrimp colors is acknowledging that you might not see it quite right, but you need to accept when someone's telling you they're there. we know our relationships best. you don't.